revelation through thunder

I've not been myself lately. I have almost completely ignored my friends this summer and have been acting a little... psycotic. I've been trying to sort out a few things and had two big problems I've always wanted to conquer. However I have always wanted to be ....well..... happy. I really haven't been happy since I was a kid, now I don't know what's happened. Something has changed, overnight it seems like. Many people don't see me how I am, even a few of my own family members, but there are a select few of people that have... I don't know.... help me I guess. I have always wanted for people to see me who I am, yet I never saw what was in me. Two nights ago I woke up at 2 am to the sound of my brother talking to God knows who on the phone. He was talking about me, he was talking about how I have a lack of female compainonship to put it light. My own brother!!! I was crushed. I went outside and was treated to a show of lighting and thunder. I've always have been wanting to change, however I never really could. That night in the storm I wasn't thinking how I wanted to change, I don't know what I thought about, but something changed. Something's change and now I might be able to work on those problems I have tried to work on.